Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
