Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
