We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
