no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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