Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
