Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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