why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
