i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
