Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
