i need an iv and a liver transplant
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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