For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
