I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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