Soap is not a condiment
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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