YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Randomize
