I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
