he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
