i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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