i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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