So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
