I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
