I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
