just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
