that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
