Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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