The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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