That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Can I color on your dick again?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
