sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All the doctor said was why
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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