The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
