Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
