wat bout pragnant strippers??
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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