So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
