I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All I want is dick and wine.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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