He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
high people should be assigned attendants
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
