Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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