DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
