Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
