Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I met the friendliest cop last night
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
