We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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