Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
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