she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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