i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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