Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
