just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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