I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
