I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
