I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
