I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
