he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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