Say something about gay babies.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
