The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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