Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
