is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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