We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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